It is not easy to be me, no really I am not kidding. I have come to love myself so much over the years and I have realized my own value. And I have learned to see my own faults and to be the bigger person even if my dark passenger would love to give people what they deserve.
But it is even harder to be the person standing next to me especially if they have low self-asteem and thinks that the world is out to get them. Can you imagine always being on guard and bite the head of the people because you think they will hurt you? It is exhausting, I know I used to be one of them.. They remind me of a wounded animal in a corner who is trying to bite anyone who tries to come near them, even the person who will care for them and their wounds.. Stupid but it is their loss and I feel sorry for them but they put themself through that. And only they can change their behavior.
So where I work there is a massive jealousy problem because we work on commission based salaries and the season is not going so good so the competition is hard. My colleague comes from the same background as me, has the same options as me but she is in a loop of struggles and she choose to be jealous instead of sharing the luck and be happy for others. Somehow I have ended up in one sided competition with her. She compares both herself and everything to/with me and when I am successful she becomes really angry and goes away to her corner and stays there licking her wounds and then she comes back again.
I am an Alpha personality and that means that I have very sharp elbows that helps me reach my goals, I try to do things everyday to feel better, I help people and share their joy but most of all I stand up for myself and what I believe is right and this is what she doesn’t do.
Instead if talking with the person she is in a disagreement with she gets angry, walks away, gossips and then tells the boss and gets the person into trouble. And I am normally that person. I have been patient, very patient. But I can see that this behavior is not changing and it is giving me toxic energy so after the last argument I had enough, I lost my temper and showed her the dark passengers voice and then in the evening I wrote a calm letter based on facts and telling her exactly how things are and how it will be from now on. After that I did some EFT to release some anger. And thank God, it helped!
Then it hit me, the reason to why I have been so patient with her and why we fight like this is because she is reminding me of my mother and the toxic relationship we had. They both always try to make me the bad guy and sees themselves as a victim. You simply cannot do right by them. People like that is their own biggest enemy and no one can put them down as good as themselves.
I realised that this has nothing to do with me. As soon as I realised that, I felt peaceful and ok and today I am at work, back in business keeping a professional distance and waiting for my customers to come and I think I will have a kickass sale today.
So when you have a conflict at work.
1. Try to talk but without screaming.
2. If you feel that the other person doesn’t listen, write them a letter.
3. Show them that you are the bigger person by remaining calm and professional.
4. When they start to act out then walk away.
5.Keep the conversations on a work related level.
6. Remember that you are so much ahead of them so forgive them because they don’t understand better.
7. Don’t accept their silent appology, and pretend that everything is back to normal. If they did something wrong they have to take responsibility for that.
9. Try EFT or Ho’oponopono to clear the energies.
10. Never let them hold you back, go out there and be fabulous and take the world because it is yours to take!