Hello you beautiful people, I hope you are all doing well.

I have always been interested with visualization since I was 15 years old and started to read this book that my mother had bought, it was called Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life by Shakti Gawain
I loved it and I read it so much that it started to fall apart, I can tell you that my mother was not happy about that. I highly recommend this book because it has a lot of good advice, especially if you are a novice to visualization.

However, I had a problem.. No matter how hard I tried to visualize I could not see things in my mind. The disappointment was huge. I tried, I kept on trying and then I finally gave up. As soon as I came across a page or a book that mentioned visualization it was like game over for me. I kept trying though and I kept trying to find information about the HOW to visualize and boy I have gone through a lot of YouTube videos and webpages.

If you are one of those people who can visualize then I am very happy for you, but if you are like me, I want you to know that there is hope. You see, one day I stumbled upon a webpage that told me that it is OK if you can’t visualize. It is the emotion that is the active ingredient you see. So I started to try to feel how it would feel to be where I wanted to be, how it would feel to have the things I wanted to have and that was a bit easier.

So then one morning, when I was sitting on the bus on my way to work, I was looking out the window while listening to music. I got a weird feeling that I was not sitting on a bus, I was sitting on an airplane, I was not on my way to work but to Los Angeles! I started to smile with my whole face and it felt fantastic!! I finally got it! This is what you and I need to do to get the things we want. We need to feel how it feels to be there and not here. Ridiculously simple right? I can tell you that this realization felt like a million bucks and it made manifesting a lot more fun. I call this process Feelization and I like it very much and I practice it a lot.

So what are you going to attract into your life using Feelization? List it below in the comment field and share the energy. 🙂

Stay in the vortex peps!





I am walking down another street!

I love Dr Wayne Dyer and I miss him a lot, bless his soul. I often watch his seminars on YouTube and I try to implement what he taught us in his videos. There is especially one seminar, where he reads a poem by Portia Nelson that I like very much, and yesterday late at night I finally, got it. I really got it!

You see, I am a single woman, who is very attracted to the alpha male types. You know the highly successful men, who make things happen, they can make decisions and they are going somewhere in life. Many of them are business leaders, managers, CEO:s etc and some of them are narcissists…

I am very familiar with narcissists, I was raised by one, my mother. I later on dated them, but at that time they were bad boys. Then I grew up and met a very successful man, let’s call him P. He was a biker, but not one of those biker gang guys. He was handsome, smart, cool, and he could make money out of anything, he was very talented. I was so impressed by him, his intelligence and his ability to make money. And the best part, he really liked me, or at least so I thought..
He also had a son, who I later found out also was a narcissist and I spent more than 4 years living with them. It nearly destroyed me, I lost myself in the process. He broke my heart totally and it took a long, long time for me to pick up the pieces. This was before I moved to Turkey and he was one of the reasons to why I moved.

I cut all ties and seized all contact with him and his son. No fb, no messages, nothing. This was really hard because I was obsessed with him, his attention was like heroin to me. But I did it, because of  5 very good friends of mine. Veronica, Stellan, Christer, Ingela, Jeppe and Victoria. Without them I couldn’t have done it. Thank you!

I have bumped into him again a few times after that when I have been home, but I totally ignore him, no hello, no contact. I know very well that I can’t even talk to him even once, because I will be drawn into his web all over again and it will kill me this time. It is just like a sober heroin addict, who just  wants to have one small fix for old times sake. *KAABOOM* Straight back into addiction! And I love myself way too much to even consider it.

This was back in 2008 when the relationship ended and even today he is still effecting me very much, I dream about him a lot at night, he is in my mind. Sometimes I can hear his voice when there is something that triggers a memory. I used to hate him but I don’t anymore. I am grateful, because of him I started to read more and more about human behavior, I started to study my own behavior and I improved myself and many other positive things, I became more aware. I would never have done that if I would have stayed in his presence. He also taught me what red flags and warning signs to look out for. This was really learning by doing.

Unfortunately though, I don’t dare to trust my instincts when I see the red flags. I start to question myself, is it me who is overly cautious and paranoid? Perhaps I am just being silly and scared after the relationship I had? So I find myself in the same position over and over again since the universe will unmercifully repeat the situation until you have learned the damned lesson! That is how it is and I am a very, very slow learner sometimes.
Until yesterday that is..

Last year in 2o15, I met a man online, lets call him R.  He seemed perfect, he was tall, very intellectual, wanted kids, had an extremely high IQ, he was looking for the same kind of relationship as I was looking for and he really understood me. Sure there was a few things that was weird, we only had contact when he wanted to and sometimes he avoided my questions, it was like he was blowing hot and cold but I was really interested in him. We decided to meet and he flew out here to meet me. At this time I had some intense dreams about my ex P, I couldn’t understand why I had that. I was totally focused on the new guy so it didn’t make sense at all. Guess what, during those 3 days we spent together there was temper tantrums, he pushed me, he screamed at me for interrupting him, he got upset because I didn’t take good enough pictures of him and he took an incredible amount of selfies (around 100). It was all about him. I even left him in the restaurant in the middle of dinner because he was behaving totally unacceptable. After we parted I sent him an email asking him to send the few pictures he took of me, I never got an answer. He was another narcissist. The good news is that this time it took 3 days to figure it and not 4 years.

After this episode, I have bumped into a few more narcissists online, and the most current one is a Swedish man who was behaving very much like R, he even looks like R! The funny part is that it is the same story all over again, self focused, he is promoting himself, disappearing for a few weeks and then showing up again just to be so incredibly busy but he wants to fly out here and meet me. And guess what, I got so pissed off by his behavior!
Who the fuck do he think he is? You see, since I have been around so many narcissists, I have read up on them and I have learned to discover them sooner and I know how to break up with them. But it also made me stronger and it made me realize my own value and when someone tries to walk all over me I become angry and that anger helps me move mountains. So when Mr Sweden contacted me I politely blew him off and it felt great! You cannot win or get revenge on a narcissist, don’t even try. Just make sure that they leave you alone.

And then I realized one thing, this time I have been thinking a lot and having very vivid dreams about both P and R!! I didn’t make the connection until this Swedish man tried to do his trick again. Whenever I come close to a narcissist my subconscious is guiding and warning me and I have been too blocked to see it! *rolls up a newspaper and hits myself on the head with it!* Stupid, stupid, stupid!!

I mean it is so obvious, how could I not see it?!  And then when I went to bed and I had finished writing in my journal, it hit me straight in the face, gently with a chair, what Wayne Dyer and Portia Nelson wanted to say with this poem. Late shall the sinner awake..
If you want to see the video with Wayne Dyer when he reads the poem, click here

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost …. I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.


I am SO walking down another street my friends!!

An interesting conversation…

Hello my co-creators!

I hope that you are all feeling like a man who just took a Ferrari for a test ride for the first time of his life! 🙂  I imagine that it will be a real adrenaline kick and so much fun! 🙂

This will be another work related post. Sometimes I come across really interesting people and they all teach me something. Today was one of those days.

One of my roles at work is that I am giving public speeches at my job, telling customers about gold and precious stones like diamonds. It is not easy to keep their attention and most of them are not willing to buy anything and just want to run out of the gold center as soon as possible.
So I have made it a personal challenge to get their attention and to make them laugh but also to involve the men.

One of the men came up to me afterwards and complimented me on my speech and how I explain things. We started talking and he told me that he has always been his own boss and never been employed and I told him that it was my goal as well and he said, well girl you have every skill you need to manage that. You have leadership skills, social skills, good sales techniques, you are strict and you can control people plus you are smart. You will succeed as soon as you find your area of expertise.

For me, not having a formal education I have always felt a bit ashamed over that but I am starting to see that I am a pretty awesome person and that I have many qualities and skills that no school would be able to teach me. Even if I think highly of myself it does feel good to be acknowledged by a stranger who can see this in me after half and hour. It made me feel proud over me. 🙂 It made it feel extra good that they decided to buy a beautiful diamond necklace.  How does it get any better than this?

Be awesome!

You have a choice.

Hello fellow earthlings.

A few things have happened since our last time. I am in a new town and I am working at a new place. It is still in Turkey but it is a town called Kusadasi. I got tired of being in Marmaris during the winter because it was really a struggle for me to be there. I will not go into all the negative things, let’s just say that I am happy that I made this decision. I will be going back to Marmaris 13th of April.

So this new job is still in the gold business and I am surrounded by abundance! I am wearing jewelry with a price tag of 290.000 Euros and that is just one necklace!! I mean how does it get any better than that??  🙂 I feel so rich! I have changed as a person and I am getting in touch with my femininity again. I feel so good here that I don’t want to go back to my other job but I am trying to put my focus on the positive aspects of it. By example I will be close to my chiropractor and that means that I will have less pain in my pelvic area, I will be able to take wonderful walks along the beach every morning and I will live closer to the ocean. I will see my street cat Floke again and my cute little neighbor Koray 🙂 I will have my hammock to lay in during the summer evening and I can look at the stars and my new friend from work is actually living in Marmaris so I wont be alone. Not to mention my wonderful friends from Scandinavia, UK and the Netherlands  that will come for visits!
So there is a lot of positive things. That is what I am focusing on, there are always something good to hang on to.

I can give you another example, the tourism here in Turkey has been very effected by the terrorists and people thinks that it is a major war zone over here so they are cancelling their trips. Our boss decided that he needed to cut our salaries with 10% very month temporarily everyone was so angry and upset. People turned to me and asked me why I didn’t seem upset with it. My response: Of course it effects me but do you know what, right now I am just grateful that I still have my job and that no one got sacked.

You see, it is all about how you choose to see things.
Later on we heard that we might get the money back at the end of the season so that’s what I am focusing on right now. 🙂

Be safe.



I want it all!! :P

I just came home from a lovely evening and I will make another post.  This time it is a quite personal post but I am a very open person so it is ok. As you know I had a lovely evening with my friends tonight and I had such a delicious meal. There is only one problem.. My ex was constantly texting me through out the evening.
You see he is rubberband man. He comes and he goes and gives nothing but wants everything. And I had a choice to either like the situation or say: “No, I will not have it like this anymore”. We broke up 1 year ago and he has been coming back and leaving several times during this whole year. There have been lies about relationships etc.

Yesterday I informed him that since there haven’t been any initiative from his side to make any plans, I had accepted the invitation from my friends. That wasn’t appreciated but I told him off and tried to turn my bad mood into a better one and I succeeded. 🙂
Today when I was just about ready to leave he came knocking on my door expecting me to be available to him. Well you can imagine his surprised face when I said: “Sorry I gotta run!” and just walked out and locked the door. He left without a word.

Then later on when I asked him why he had come he said that we where together and that he expected us to be together this evening. This was all news to me and even if I love him a lot I felt that this wasn’t right. I could feel where this was heading so I asked him to do something he never done before. I said to him that if he is serious about me then add me on facebook and change the relationship status into; in a relationship with me.
This is something he has never done before even when we where living together.
You see I don’t trust that he is single for one bit since he has lied about it before. Guess what, he said no. I said that is totally fine for me. But then you also have to accept that I don’t want you in my life. And here we are..

So why am I telling you all of this? I was about to say yes but then I stopped and listened to myself.. If I say ok then I am doing what I always have done and I will get the same result over and over again. I don’t want that. I deserve better and I want someone who treats me just as good as I deserve. I don’t want to be with someone who just wants me so that no one else cannot have me. I simply refuse to do that.  I want more, I want it all!

So the lesson is: Never settle for less than you deserve no matter what because trust me, there are far more worse things than being alone. I actually quite enjoy it until the right man comes along. 🙂

Why not?

“I can not change my job.”
“Oh it is impossible to win the lottery ”
“I can not just pack up and move to Spain/Maldives”
“I can not go back to school”
“I can not start my own company”
“I am not good enough to write a book”
“Oh he/she would never be interested in me”
” You can not just wish for 10.000.000 Euro!”
It is a never ending list…

Does anything in the list above sound familiar?  Everyday we are being told by others or ourselves that we can not do this or that and that things are impossible.
Well I just have one thing to say. Why the hell not? (my blog, my language)
Why not try to see some possibilities where others see problems. If you want something go after it. Don’t think people took my move to Turkey easily. I lost many friends but I gained a lot of new one and the ones that matters are still there.
This is YOUR life and YOUR choice and life becomes just like YOU create it. Maybe it will be hard and maybe it will make people raise their eyebrows and maybe you will be scared when you go up to that guy/girl and ask if he/she would like to go out in a coffee with you. But so what? You are going after what makes you happy and living your life to the fullest. If you are happy jumping out of a plain in a fly suit, do it! If you love someone tell them! If you believe that you will win the lottery then don’t listen to anyone telling you different. And you my friend are a wonderful person and you deserve everything good the world has to offer you. You just have to understand it yourself. 🙂

Life is short. Kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
~ Paulo Coelho

Ask + Believe = Receive?

If you have seen or read The Secret or Esther Hicks book Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires  then you know that for things to manifest into your life you have to let go of the HOW and just simply put your wish out there, believe in it and then simply wait for it to show up.

There is nothing simple about that if you are a perfectionist and a over thinker like me. I have no problem letting go of the HOW things will manifest into my life.. But I do have a problem with HOW I ASK. Everyone is different and all of the statements below are correct. You just have to find the one that resonates with you the best. You have a few choices and the key is to choose the one you believe in, you can feel it is the reality and feels true to you.

  • Affirmations
    I call them is statements, “I am so slim, fit and I look fabulous.” This can be hard if you are overweight and feeling miserable about yourself.
    (My brain always tells me: Naaaa you are a fluffy little liar! Hahaha)
  • Afformations
    This is for us who have a problem with the statements above. Apparently when you ask yourself a question the brain is trying to come up with answers and doesn’t have time to take apart the statement. Why am I so slim, fit and look fabulous?” Now the brain is starting to come up with answers and are saying, Yes why are you slim, fit and fabulous? (see I figured out how to outsmart my brain)
  • Wishing
    “I wish that I am slim, fit and that I look fabulous.” For me this one doesn’t work. It is a wish and it will be stay a wish in my thinking. But it doesn’t mean that it is not right for you.
  • Want
    “I want to be slim, fit and look fabulous.” I think this is the one that works the best for me. It is a simple and clear statement. I want it and I have no doubt about it.
    Most of my manifestations has come when I have used this statement.
  • Can
    “I can see myself slim, fit and looking fabulous.” Well if you can see it in your mind you can have it in your life. See it and believe it.
  • Could
    “If I could be slim, fit and look fabulous I would be happy.” This is the one I like the least because there is an if in front of it. My spontaneous reaction is well who is stopping you from being that? The world is our oyster so go and get it tiger.  But again if this one works for you please continue doing it.
That was the asking part. And maybe there are more ways to ask that I haven’t stumbled upon yet. What to remember is to focus on what you want and not on what you don’t want. Because for some strange reason LOA just jumps over the negative word and gives you exactly what you don’t want since that is what you focus on. I will give you and example.
  • This is what you say: “I don’t want more unexpected bills”
  • This is what LOA hears: “I want more unexpected bills.”  and since they are so kind and give you everything you ask or well you will get more bills.
  • “I want to have enough money to pay all my bills” is turning your first sentence into a positive sentence and voilà your focus is now positive.

So the Universe just called me and told me that they have an offer this week and they give each of you 3 wishes right now and they just want to know what  you would like to have in your life? 😉